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ICYUMWERU CY'UMURYANGO :13-19/02/2017

UBUTUMWA BWA KOMISIYO

Y’UMURYANGO MU NAMA Y’ABEPISKOPI GATOLIKA MU RWANDA

URUKUNDO NYAKURI RWUBAKA UMURYANGO

Bakristu bavandimwe, muri iyi myaka ishize twagiye twizihiriza hamwe umunsi mukuru w’Umuryango Mutagatifu w’i Nazareti, tugakorapdf noveni iwutegura, hakagira n’ubutumwa Komisiyo y’Abespiskopi Gatolika mu Rwanda ishinzwe umuryango itanga. Mu rwego rwo kurushaho guha imbaraga iyogezabutumwa mu muryango,Inama y’Abepiskopi yashyizeho icyumweru cy’umuryango.Uyu mwaka kizizihizwa kuva tariki ya 13 kugeza kuya 19 Gashyantare 2017. Muri iki cyumweru turagira ngo dusenge kandi tuzirikane ku muryango n’uruhare rwawo mu iyogezabutumwa.

Umuryango niwo Kiliziya y’ibanze kandi ni nawo musingi igihugu cyubakiraho. Twese tuvuka mu muryango kandi tugakurira mu muryango. Umuryango niwo utugira icyo turi cyo kuko ibyo Imana idukorera byose ibinyuza mu muryango. Niyo mpamvu rero usanga bihangayikishije iyo ubona ibitekerezo n’amatwara y’iki gihe bishaka gusenya umuryango. Umuryango muri iki gihe urugarijwe. Hari ibyonnyi byinshi biwototera tudahagurutse ngo tuwiteho wasanga ejo turi mu bibazo bikomeye cyane.

Nyuma ya Sinode y’Abepiskopi ku muryango, Nyirubutungane Papa Fransisiko yahamagaje mu mwakawa 2014 ikamara imyaka ibiri, yaduhaye ubutumwa bwo kwita ku muryango ku buryo bw’umwihariko. Muri iki gihe abantu benshi baragenda barushaho guta ukwemera ku buryo bisaba kuvugurura iyogezabutumwa no gushaka ingamba nshya kugira ngo abantu barusheho kumenya urukundo rw’Imana no kurwakira mu buzima bwabo.

 Iyogezabutumwa rya mbere rihera mu rugo. Mu rugo niho hambere umwana amenyera Imana akayikunda kandi akayizera. Mu rugo niho umwana yigira isengesho rya mbere. Abakateshisite n’abarimu bubakira ku musingi umwana aba yarahawe mu muryango. Niyo mpamvu rero kuvugurura iyogezabutumwa bigomba guhera mu rugo.

 Ni muri urwo rwego, tugira ngo ubu butumwa buherekeze isengesho n’inyigisho z’iki cyumweru kugira ngo dushobore kubaka umuryango no kuwuha ubushobozi bwo gusohoza ubutumwa bwawo neza.

  Turagerageza gusesengura bimwe mu bibazo byugarije umuryango muri iki gihe, bigaragarira mu bitekerezo n’ibikorwa biriho, haba mu rubyiruko rutarashaka cyangwa no mu ngo ziriho. Hanyuma tumurikiwe n’icyo Kiliziya yigisha ku muryango n’ubutumwa bwawo ishingiye kw’ijambo ry’Imana turebe n’icyakorwa kugira ngo turengere umuryango ushobore kugira imbaraga n’ubushobozi byo gusohoza ubutumwa bwawo muri iki gihe. Insanganya matsiko y’iki cyumweru cy’umuryango ni “Urukundo nyakuri rwubaka umuryango”.

  1. I.Bimwe mu bibazo byugarije umuryango
  1. 1)Umuco mushya ngengamyitwarire ku isi

Muri iki gihe hadutse impindura-matwara igamije guhindura uburyo buboneye bwari busanzwe bushingiye ku mico-gakondo y’ibihugu n’iyobokamana. Bamwe mu bahanga n’abanyapolitiki, bateshutse ku ndangagaciro za Kiliziya na Kimuntu, bategura kandi bimakaza imyitwarire bise mishya, ihindura indangagaciro zisanzwe zigenderwaho.

Ubu buryo bushya bwo gutegeka isi, buragenda busenya umuryango ku buryo iki kibazo kidahagurukiwe, ibyiza twarazwe n’abakurambere byayoyoka, tukazaraga abadukomokaho ibyago byateguwe bigashyirwa mu bikorwa turebera.

 Mu kinyejana cya 18, bamwe mu bahanga b’i Burayi, bacuze gahunda nshya yibohora kw’iyobokamana, n’imico myiza yariho. Ubuhakanyi buhabwa intebe. Umuhanga w’umudage F. Nietzsche, we yemeza ko abantu aribo biremeye Imana mu mitwe yabo kubera ubwoba. Kuri we, bagomba kuyikuramo, kugirango babohoke kandi babe ibihangange nyabyo.

Ni muri uwo murongo, guhera mu mwaka 1960, habayeho impinduramatwara, n’ishimangirwa ryo kwiha ubwigenge butagira gitangira. Ibi byateye urujijo mu mico, mu mibereho n’imyitwarire y’abantu. Nyuma y’aho iyi mpinduramatwara yaje gukaza umurego.

 Mu mwaka 1994, hateguwe Inama mpuzamahanga i Kayiro (Caire) mu Misiri, yigaga ku kibazo cy’abaturage n’iterambere. Muri iyo nama hagararagayemo ubufatanye bw’agatsiko kari kagambiriye gusimbuza ibyifuzo byako, indangaciro n’imyemerere ya Kiliziya. Zimwe mu ngamba zafashwe ku birebana n’ubuzima bw’imyororokere zirimo byinshi bisenya umugambi w’Imana ku muntu no ku muryango.Ni muri urwo rwego Nyirubutangane Papa Yohani Pawulo II, yakenze amayeri abayiteguye bitwaje, asaba abantu bose b’umutima mwiza kurwanya imigambi yose mibi igamije gusenya ingo yitwaje ibibazo bisanzwe by’ubwiyongere bw’abantu.

 Mu nama Mpuzamahanga yabereye i Beyijingi (Beijing) mu Bushinwa, mu 1995, yiga ku kibazo cy’abagore igashimangira uburinganire bw’abagabo n’abagore (gender) yashyigikiye ukwishyira ukizana gusesuye kw’abagore n’abakobwa batitaye ku iyobokamana, amahame n’imigenzo isanzwe ibaranga mu mico yabo. Aya matwara mashya bayakubiye mu cyo bise “ubwigenge bw’umugore”. Icyo bagamije ngo ni ukugira ngo umugore ahabwe ubwigenge busesuye mu bijyanye n’ubuzima mbonezabitsina.

 Ku birebana na gahunda yo guteganya imbyaro, Umuryango w’abibumbye (ONU), wategetse ibihugu biwugize gukurikiza ingamba ubihaye. Ni muri urwo rwego, ibihugu biri mu nzira y’amajyambere, akenshi byemera aya mabwiriza kugira ngo bibone imfashanyo kandi bikomeze umubano mwiza n’imiryango mpuzamahanga itagengwa na Leta, amabanki n’ibigega mpuzamahanga. Mu gukurikiza izo ngamba, hari bimwe mu bihugu byihagazeho birifata harimo iby’Abayisilamu, Uburusiya, n’ibindi.

 Inkubiri y’icyo bise “ukwibohora kw’abagore” yakomeje gucengera no gufasha amashyaka ya politiki n’ibihugu bikomeye kugira ngo hatorwe amategeko abangamiye bikabije umuryango nk’itegeko ryo gukuramo inda ku bushake no ku buryo bworoshye, gukwirakwiza imiti yo kudasama igahabwa n’abangavu n’ibindi.

Amategeko n’ibitekerezo by’ibihugu bikomeye byagiye bitanga uburenganzira bw’uko umuntu akoresha umubiri uko ashatse n’igihe ashakiye. Udukingirizo dushyirwa hose no mu mashuri n’ay’abakiri bato, ndetse n’ibigo byo kwishimishirizamo bijyaho. Ibi byose byagiye byorora cyane ubusambanyi n’ukwirekura mu byerekeye ubuzima mbonezabitsina.

Ikindi kibazo gikomeye cyadukanywe n’iyo gahunda ni ugushyigikira byeruye ubutinganyi. Hatangiye gahunda ishyigikiwe n’amategeko ya za Leta z’ibihugu bikomeye yo gusezeranya abahuje ibitsina ndetse bakemererwa no kurera abana. Murumva abarererwa muri izo ngirwa-ngo uko bazakura!

Ntitwabura kugaya kandi undi muco mubi wadukanye n’iyo mpinduramatwara yihishe muri gahunda y’uburinganire (gender) wo kudashaka urubyaro ku buryo n’iyo umugore asamye bifatwa nk’aho ari umuzigo. Mu bihugu bikize bigeze aho umuntu akodesha inda y’undi mugore ngo amutwitire umwana namubyara amumuhe bakumvikana umubare w’amafaranga azamwishyura. Hari n’abagore cyangwa abakobwa bahitamo kudashaka umugabo bagira bati nidushaka umwana tuzamubona kubera ko ubuvuzi bwateye imbere, aho kugira ngo tujye gukandamizwa n’umugabo.

 Ibi byose byongereye ugutandukana gukabije kw’abashakanye, n’amategeko ya za Leta akagenda abyoroshya. Iyo abashakanye batandukana ari benshi bagenda bisungana bakubaka izindi ngo. Ibi na byo bikagira ingaruka ku burere bw’abana badahuje ababyeyi bombi.

 Birumvikana ko iyi mpinduramatwara ifite ingaruka zikomeye ku ndangagaciro zisanzwe zigenga umuryango.

  1. 2)Ibibazo birebana na kamere mbonezabitsina, ugushyingirwa n’umuryango.

Muri iyi si ya none umuryango muri rusange ndetse n’umuryango nyarwanda by’umwihariko wugarijwe n’ibyonnyi byinshi biwuhungabanya:

Kudategura neza abagiye gushinga urugo

Muri iki gihe usanga abageni benshi bashyingirwa mu Kiliziya, bashinga ingo batarateguwe bihagije bityo bikagira ingaruka mbi ku mubano wabo. Usanga abenshi basigaye bashinga ingo batazi neza icyo bizabasaba n’inshingano zabo ngo bubake ingo nziza, zibanogeye kandi zishobora kurerera neza igihugu na Kiliziya.

Kudaherekeza bihagije ingo zikiri nto

Abamaze gushyingiranwa usanga nabo nta buryo bunoze buhari bwo kubaherekeza muri uwo muhamagaro. Abenshi bahura n’ingorane mu ntangiriro kubera ko basanga hari ibyo batandukaniyeho, ibyo batumva kimwe cyangwa ibyo badakora ku buryo bumwe. Ibi rero bibabera imbogamizi mu rukundo rwabo, ndetse bitatangirirwa hafi bakaba banarusenya, kubera kubura abababa hafi ngo babagire inama nziza.

Kudafasha uko bikwiye ingo zifite ibibazo byihariye

Zimwe muri izo ngo twavuga nk’izagaragayemo amakimbirane, ubuharike, ababana mu buryo bumeze nk’igerageza, ababana batarasezeranye muri Leta cyangwa mu Kiliziya, abatarabonye urubyaro.

Kudasobanukirwa n’umugambi w’Imana ku kubyara no guteganya imbyaro

Bamwe mu bashakanye usanga batacyakira umwana nk’impano y’Imana. Ndetse ntibubahirize inzira Imana yagennye mu birebana no gutanga ubuzima, bagashakisha ubundi buryo buboroheye.Twavuga nko:

-          Kwigizayo ububabare bwose mu birebana no gutwita no kubyara

-          Gukoresha imiti ibuza gusama cyangwa ihagarika isama ryatangiye

-          Ugukuramo inda ku bushake bigenda byoroshywa n’amategeko

-    Kubyara hifashishijwe ikoranabuhanga cyangwa amamashini, aho intanga z’umugabo n’iz’umugore zihuzwa umwana agakurira mu mamashini (in vitro).

-          Hari aho ababyeyi bakodesha nyababyeyi zabo bakifashishwa mu gutwitira abadafite umwanya wabyo cyangwa abadashaka kwigora.

Ababyeyi badohotse ku nshingano yabo yo kurera abana  

Ababyeyi benshi barahuze, ntibafite umwanya wo kwita ku bana babo bitewe n’impamvu zinyuranye zishobora kubamo n’uburangare. Bamwe ntibagitoza abana umuco mwiza, ikinyabupfura ndetse n’isengesho. Abibuka kubahesha amasakaramentu ku gihe gikwiriye nabo bagenda baba bake.

Abana b’ubu barererwa imbere ya televisiyo n’izindi mbuga nkoranyambaga bagakuramo imico myinsi ishobora kubangiza.

Kudasobanukirwa neza urukundo nyarwo

Muri iki gihe ikoranabuhanga mu itumanaho ahanini usanga ryigisha urukundo rushingiye gusa ku marangamutima n’irari. Hari abashakanye babana badakundana koko cyangwa se bakabaho urukundo rushingiye gusa ku marangamutima cyangwa ku zindi nyungu. Urukundo rw’ukuri rushingiye ku kwitangira undi no guharanira umunezero nyakuri w’uwo ukunda ntibigifite umwanya mu ngo z’abashakanye bamwe na bamwe. Ibi bigira ingaruka ku buzima bwose bw’abashakanye ndetse no ku burere bw’abana babo.

 Ni muri urwo rwego hari aho n’umushyikirano mpuzabitsina w’abashakanye utagihabwa agaciro kawo mu kubaka ubumwe bwabo. Hari abasigaye bajya gushakira ibyishimo mu busambanyi, mu mashyirahamwe y’abitwa abapfubuzi (abunganizi), muri filimi z’urukozasoni, kwikinisha, n’indi mico mibi y’ibyaduka.

 Bamwe mu bashakanye nabo bashakira ibyishimo muri iyo mico mibi kubera ingeso n’irari rikabije ry’umubiri, batigeze bitoza kuyobora; abandi bakabikora kubera kudakunda abo bashakanye cyangwa barashakanye kubera inyungu runaka. Hari ababikora kubera kwihimura cyangwa guhima abo bashakanye. Abandi bakabiterwa no kutanyurwa mu mushyikirano mpuzabitsina w’abashakanye.

  Hari na bamwe bajya gushaka ababitaho bo hanze cyangwa bakishora mu zindi ngeso mbi nk’ubusinzi, ibiyobyabwenge n’ibindi kubera impamvu z’akazi n’amashuri bituma umwanya wo kwitanaho nk’abashakanye utakiboneka. Abandi bakabikora mu buryo bwo gushaka amaramuko ndetse ntibanahishe abagabo cyangwa abagore babo ko bakora uburaya, kuko hanze aha ubuzima buhenze!

  1. 3)Ibibazo bituruka ku babyeyi

Imihindagurikire y’imibereho n’amakimbirane y’abashakanye bituma hari ibitagenda neza mu muryango kandi bikagira ingaruka zikomeye ku mwana kuva agisamwa na nyuma yaho.

Ubwumvikane buke mu rugo bushobora gukurura ibindi bibazo nko guca inyuma uwo mwashakanye, kubyara abandi bana hanze, ubuharike, ubusinzi, kubyara abo udashoboye kurera, kuba nyamwigendaho, n’ibindi. Ubu kandi hari n’ibindi bibazo by’urusobe biriho nko kudasobanukirwa n’uburenganzira n’inshingano by’abashakanye, kudacunga neza umutungo w’urugo, kubana batarasezeranye, guta urugo no kutita ku wo mwashakanye, uburere bucye mu bana, kutababonera umwanya, no kutiyakira mu buzima mubayemo n’uwo mwashakanye. Ubukene n’ubujiji bw’ababyeyi na byo bituma rimwe na rimwe bashishikariza abana gushyingirwa imburagihe.

  1. 4)Ibibazo byugarije urubyiruko muri iki gihe

Muri iki gihe urubyiruko rwugarijwe n’urusobe rw’ibibazo by’ubuzima. Bityo n’ikenurabushyo ribagenewe rikagorana. Ibyo bibazo twabibumbira mu ngingo zikurikira: Umubano hagati y’abana n’ababyeyi, ubwoba bw’ejo hazaza, ibyerekeye ubuzima mbonezamana.

Umubano hagati y’abana n’ababyeyi

Muri iki gihe umubano hagati y’abana n’ababyeyi ahanini usanga utifashe neza bitewe n’ukutumva kimwe ibibazo by’iki kinyejana. Ubundi kandi usanga ababyeyi batakibonera abana umwanya uhagije wo kuganira ngo bamenye ibibazo abana bafite by’umwihariko urubyiruko, bitewe n’induruburi za buri munsi cyangwa gushakisha ubuzima. Rimwe na rimwe ababonye uwo mwanya, hari igihe batinya kubabwiza ukuri ku bibazo baba bababajije bityo abana bagahitamo gushakira ibisubizo ahandi, hakaba igihe abandi bababeshya bitewe n’inyungu bifitiye. Hari n’ubwo amatsiko akabije urubyiruko rugira ku byerekeye ubuzima bw’imyororokere ruyihererana ntirwifungurire ababyeyi, rugahitamo gushakishiriza mu ikoranabuhanga nta gushungura no guhitamo igikwiye. Hari ubwo kandi urubyiruko rugira inkurikizi cyangwa rukazira amakosa yaba yarakozwe n’ababyeyi nko gutandukana kw’ababyeyi, imyitwarire mibi, jenoside n’ibindi.

Ubwoba bw’ejo hazaza no gutakaza indangagaciro nyarwanda

Muri iki gihe iterambere rikataje, urubyiruko rurarushaho guhura n’ibibazo byinshi by’ubuzima. Aha twavuga nko kubura akazi, ubukene, kutagira ikiruhuza (icyo gukora) cyane cyane igihe bari mu biruhuko, imihindagurikire y’ibihe. Ibi bibazo rero akenshi bituma urubyiruko rutakaza icyizere rukagirira ubwoba n’impungenge ku buzima bw’ejo hazaza, bityo rugashakisha uko rwabasha kwikura muri ibyo bibazo.

 Aha rero akenshi usanga bamwe bahitamo inzira zitari nziza nko kwishora mu biyobyabwenge, mu busambanyi bugenda bufata intera. Hari irari ry’ibintu, ugasanga urubyiruko rurashaka gukira vuba kandi rutavunitse. Abantu bagashaka kubaho uko batareshya, kujagarara no kutagira amahitamo bityo bagatwarwa n’ibibonetse byose cyane cyane ibiturutse ku ikoranabuhanga, dore ko ubu nta mupaka rifite.Ibi rero byose usanga bituma urubyiruko rwinshi rutakaza indangagaciro nyarwanda kandi rukarangwano kubaho mu bwoba bw’ejo hazaza.

Ibyerekeye ubuzima mbonezamana

Ubuzima mbonezamana ku rubyiruko, muri iki gihe, usanga buhura n’inzitizi nyinshi aha nini bitewe n’uko gahunda y’impinduramatwara iri kuyogoza isi igenda irimbura imigenzo mbonezabupfura n’imigenzo mbonezamana ishingiye ku Ivanjili. Imiryango y’ Agisiyo Gatolika abana barererwagamo, usanga itagifite imbaraga, ugasanga urubyiruko rutakiyitabira. Mu mashuri naho isomo ry’Iyobokamana nta mwanya rihabwa ufatika. Urubyiruko ruhura na none, n’ikibazo cyo kutabona abakristu cyangwa abihayimana babafasha gushishoza no guhitamo neza, umunsi ku wundi. Ibi rero bituma urubyiruko rutakaza indangagaciro za gikristu, bigatuma rubaho mu kajagari no kutigirira icyizere.

  1. II.Ingingo-shingiro z’urukundo nyarwo

Umuntu yaremwe mu ishusho ry’Imana kandi “Imana ni urukundo” (1Yh 4,16). Ishusho y’Imana mu muntu ni urukundo. Urukundo nirwo ruha umuntu agaciro kuko rutuma agira isura y’Imana muri we. Niyo umuntu yagira impano n’ubwenge bikomeye adafite urukundo nta gaciro yaba afite kuko agaciro ke n’icyubahiro cye ni uko aba asa n’Imana (1 Kor 13,2-3).

 Isoko y’urukundo rw’abashakanye iri mu Mana. Urukundo n’ubumwe bw’abashakanye ni ishusho y’Ubutatu Butagatifu.[1] Urugo n’umuryango rero bishingiye ku rukundo Imana yateye mu muntu kuva ikimurema nk’umugabo n’umugore ikabaha kugira uruhare ku murimo wayo wo kurema bayibyarira abana bayinogeye. Urugo rushingiye “k’ugushyingirwa hagati y’umugabo umwe n’umugore umwe, kuko nyine Imana dukurikiye ari Imwe”[2].Urukundo rero ni narwo mutima w’urugo rukaba n’ishingiro ry’ubumwe bw’abashakanye.

  Uru rukundo Imana yahaye umuntu ngo rwubake umuryango urubona mu ndangaciro z’umuco w’abantu bose ku isi n’ubwo banyuranye. Hose mu isi buri gihugu n’umuco wacyo byagiraga amahame n’imirongo ngenderwaho, bisigasira urugo rw’abashakanye, bikarinda umuryango ibiwangiza. Iwacu i Rwanda hari ibyabaga bibujijwe ku mwana w’umuhungu cyangwa w’umukobwa utarashaka. Batozwaga n’ababyeyi n’umuryango mugari bavukamo, indangagaciro z’ubusugi n’ubumanzi, kubaha ubuzima, kubaha abakuru, kubana no kwitangira abandi.

Abashakanye nabo hari ibyo basabwaga nko kwiyubaha, kugira ibanga ry’urugo, kwitangira abana no gukunda umurimo, kubaha abo mu miryango bashatsemo n’izindi ndangagaciro zubaka zirimo ukwifata igihe babyumvikanyeho, bitifitemo ukwikumira mu rukundo ahubwo bigamije kubyara abo bashoboye kurera. Ni byo Papa Yohani Pawulo wa II avuga neza mu nyandiko yerekeye umuryango : “ Mu buryo bwa gikristu, ubusugi ntaho buhuriye no kwanga cyangwa gusuzugura kamere mbonezabitsina, ahubwo ni imbaraga z’umutima zifite ubushobozi bwo gukingira urukundo ibyaruhungabanya, biturutse ku kwikunda cyangwa ubuhubutsi; bityo izo mbaraga zigatuma urukundo rugera ku busendere”[3].

Bityo rero indangagaciro y’ubumanzi iyo ifashijwe n’imbaraga z’umutima wifata igihe byumvikanyweho, ibafasha kwirinda gufata mugenzi wawe nk’igikoresho cyo kwishimisha kandi bikabarinda gucana inyuma. Turabizi gucana inyuma kw’abashakanye bigira ingaruka zitandukanye ku muryango, ndetse no ku babikora ubwabo, bikamunga n’umutima, tutibagiwe no guhorana umutima ugucira urubanza, n’ikimwaro ugira iyo bimenyekanye mu baturanyi, dore ko abenshi babikora bihishahisha.

 Birumvikana kandi ko atari umushyikirano mpuzabitsina ugaragaza gusa urukundo rw’abashakanye, hari ubundi buryo bubakungahaza, nko kumenya kwita ku wundi, kumugirira urugwiro, kumutega amatwi, kugishanya inama mu byemezo bafata byose, n’ibindi. Gahunda ya Kiliziya y’Ubusugire bw’ingo ikaba igamije guherekeza abashakanye muri iyo nzira yo kwivugurura mu rukundo nyarwo no kubaho mu bwuzuzanye.

Mu byubaka umuryango w’abashakanye harimo n’indangagaciro zishingiye ku ivanjili n’imbuto z’isakaramentu ryo gushyingirwa. Ibyo bibera abashakanye isoko y’ibyishimo, umunezero n’inzira y’ubutagatifu kuri bo no ku muryango wose w’ababatijwe. “Ibyishimo by’urukundo n’umubano w’abashakanye ni nabyo byishimo bya Kiliziya”[4] cyane cyane ko umuryango ari Kiliziya y’ibanze.

  Nyamara muri iki gihe urukundo usanga ari ijambo abantu benshi bumva nabi cyangwa bakarwitiranya n’ibitari rwo. Mu ibaruwa ya gitumwa Nyirubutungane Papa Fransisko aherutse kwandika ku rugo yitwa “Ibyishimo by’Urukundo” (Amoris Laetitia), umutwe wa kane yawugeneye gusobanura urukundo nyakuri icyo ari cyo ashingiye ku ibaruwa ya mbere Pawulo Mutagatifu yandikiye abanyakorinti.

  “Urukundo rurihangana, rwitangira abandi, ntirugira ishyari, urukundo ntirwirarira, ntirwikuririza, ntacyo rukora kidahwitse, ntirurondera akari akarwo, ntirurakara, ntirugira inzika, ntirwishimira akarengane, ahubwo ruhimbazwa n’ukuri, urukundo rubabarira byose, rwemera byose, rwizera byose rwihanganira byose.” (1Kor13,4-7)

  Urukundo rurihangana. Ukwihangana ni inkingi ikomeye y’urukundo, niko gutandukanya urukundo n’amarangamutima. Iyi ndangaciro y’ukwihangana tuyibona ku buryo buhebuje mu Mana yo Rukundo ruhebuje kandi ikamenya kwihangana by’agatangaza. Imana yihanganira bikomeye abanyabyaha akaba ari naho igaragariza ubutwari n’imbaraga z’urukundo rwayo. N’umuntu rero uko arushaho kwihangana, niko urukundo rwe rurushaho gukomera no kuramba rukamera nk’umuriro w’igishyitsi utigera uzima[5].

  Nk’uko Nyirubutungane Papa Fransisko abivuga akenshi igituma umuntu ananirwa kwihanganira abandi ni uko yumva ko ibintu bigomba gukorwa nk’uko abishaka, akumva ko abandi bagomba kumubanira neza nk’uko we abyumva mbese akitwara nkaho ari we gipimo cy’uko ibintu bikwiriye gukorwa. Icyo gihe rero iyo bitagenze nk’uko yabyifuzaga bituma umuntu arakarira abandi, umubano mu rugo ugahinduka amahane. Papa Fransisiko agira ati, “Ukwihangana gutangirana n’uko nshobora kwemera ko abandi nabo bafite uburenganzira bwo kubaho kuri iyi si kandi bakabaho bakurikije uko bateye.

Nubwo baba bambangamiye cyangwa babangamiye imigambi yanjye, nubwo bandakaza kubera ko badakora icyo nari mbategerejeho”[6]. Urukundo ntabwo ari amarangamutima n’ibyifuzo gusa ahubwo rurangwa n’ibikorwa n’ubwitange kugira ngo uwo ukunda ube wamugirira akamaro. Nk’uko Mutagatifu Inyasi wa Loyola abivuga “urukundo rugaragazwa n’ibikorwa kurusha amagambo”[7]. Urukundo rurangwa n’ubwitange kugira ngo ugirire mugenzi wawe akamaro ni rwo rukundo nyakuri rutuma umuntu agira ibyishimo byo kubaho no kubana n’abandi.

            Urukundo ntabwo rugira ishyari kuko ruba rwifuza kandi ruharanira icyagirira akamaro mugenzi wawe. Iyo hari icyiza mugenzi wawe agezeho biba impamvu y’ibyishimo aho kuba impamvu yo kubabara. Ishyari riterwa nuko umuntu aba yireba gusa abandi akaba ari ntacyo bamubwiye, baba hari icyiza bagezeho bikamubera impamvu yo kubabara. Urukundo rutuma umuntu atireba akiyibagirwa akita ku bandi naho ishyari rituma umuntu yihugiraho akaba ari we wireba ntabe yakwakira abandi mu mutima we no mu buzima bwe. Ibi rero bituma adashobora gukunda by’ukuri ahubwo yitiranya urukundo no kwikunda. Papa Fransisko agira ati, “urukundo ruha agaciro ibyiza bya mugenzi wawe ntumubone nk’umuntu ukurwanya. Urukundo rudukiza inabi y’ishyari rugatuma twemera ko buri muntu afite impano zitandukanye kandi akagira ni nzira y’ubuzima yihariye.”[8] Kwemera ko abantu batandukanye kandi bafite impano zinyuranye no kutigereranya n’abandi ahubwo tukishimira ko ibyo abandi baturusha cyangwa ibyo dutandukanyeho bituma twuzuzanya nibyo biranga urukundo nyakuri n’ibyishimo.

Urukundo rurangwa no kubona umuntu no kumukunda nk’uko Imana Data imukunda “kugira ngo twishimane” (1Tm 6,17) mbese nkemera ko nawe yakwishima. Ibi rero nibyo bituma umuntu atihanganira akarengane kagirirwa abandi agaharanira ko n’abahabwa akato bakavutswa uburenganzira bwabo barenganurwa bakagira ubuzima bwishimye[9].

 Urukundo ntabwo rwirata cyangwa ngo rwirarire. Papa Fransisiko agira ati “Hariho abantu bibwira ko bakomeye kubera ko bazi ibintu byinshi kurusha abandi bigatuma babakandagira. Nyamara ikiranga umuntu ukomeye ni urukundo rutuma yumva abanyantege nke akabakirana urugwiro kandi akabitaho.”[10]

 “Urukundo rurangwa no kwicisha bugufi, kubabarira no guhereza abandi ubikuye ku mutima ku buryo ubwirasi bwacu bugenda bukira, ukwicisha bugufi kukagenda kwiyongera. Yezu yabwiye abigishwa be ko mu isi aho ubutegetsi aribwo bwiganje buri muntu aharanira gutegeka abandi ati, ariko ‘mwebwe hagati yanyu ntibikabe uko’ (Mt 20,26)...’Ahubwo umukuru muri mwe nabe umugaragu w’abandi’ (Mt 20,27). Mu muryango rero iyo hajemo kurwanira ubutegetsi no guhigana urusha undi ubwenge n’imbaraga ibyo byica urukundo.

Mutagatifu Petero atugira inama ireba ingo, aho agira ati: “Mwese nimugire ukwicisha bugufi hagati yanyu, kuko Imana yanga abirata ahubwo igaha inema zayo abicisha bugufi” (1Pet 5,5)[11]. Abantu bagira intege nke bagahemukirana kandi ahari abantu ntihabura urunturuntu. Urukundo rero rurangwa no gushobora kubabarira. Ibi rero bidusaba kugerageza kumva intege nke z’abandi no kubababarira. Nk’uko Yezu abivuga ku musaraba ati :“bababarire Dawe kuko batazi icyo bakora” (Lk 23,34). Naho ubundi iyo umuntu atinda cyane ku makosa ya mugenzi we n’udukosa duto akaduha uburemere bungana n’ubw’amakosa akomeye, ntashobore kubabarira, ibi bigenda bimunga urukundo rw’abashakanye buhoro buhoro urugo rukagenda rusenyuka.[12]

  Nk’uko Papa Fransisiko akomeza abivuga,“kubabarira ntabwo ari ikintu cyoroshye bisaba kugira umutima w’ubutwari mu kwihangana no kwigomwa ni nabyo bituma urukundo n’ubumwe mu rugo bigenda birushaho kunoga”[13].

 “Muri iki gihe tuzi ko kugira ngo dushobore kubabarira abandi ni uko natwe ubwacu dushobora kubohoka tukabanza kwibabarira. Akenshi usanga gutekereza ku makosa yacu n’uburyo abantu bagiye batunenga bituma tutigirira icyizere. Ibi rero bituma twanga abandi tugahunga kuba twagirana urugwiro nabo ndetse tukagira ubwoba bwo kugirana umubano n’abandi. Icyo gihe rero kunegura abandi biba ari nko kwishyira aheza. Kugira ngo dukire bidusaba gushyira amateka yacu mu isengesho, tukamenya kwiyakira no kumenya kwakira intege nke zacu, kwibabarira kugira ngo dushobore kugirira abandi impuhwe.”[14]

 Iyo umuntu ashoboye kumenya impuhwe z’Imana mu buzima bwe akamenya ko Imana ukuntu imubabarira bikomeye atari uko abikwiye, ahubwo ari ukubera urukundo rwayo bituma ashobora nawe kubabarira abandi abikuye ku mutima. Iyo umuntu yakiriye urukundo n’impuhwe z’Imana azi neza ko atarabikwiye kandi nta kiguzi atanze icyo gihe nawe ashobora gukunda abandi n’umutima we wose, ashobora kubabarira abandi n’ubwo baba bamuhemukiye. Uyu mutima w’urukundo n’Impuhwe niwo utuma urugo rutekana rukarangwa n’ineza n’urugwiro.[15]

  Urukundo rw’abashanye gikirisitu rwishushanya n’urwo Kristu yakunze Kiliziya[16] ye, mu isakramentu ryo gushyingirwa bahana, rukaba ari naho ruvoma imbaraga zikomeye zo “kuba umwe, ukudatana, ubudahemuka no kubyara abana ”[17]. N’umwana avukira kandi akurira muri urwo rukundo rutanga kandi rwitanga rw’ababyeyi, aho yakirwa nk’impano y’Imana, aho akeneye ishusho y’umubyeyi w’umugabo n’ishusho y’umubyeyi w’umugore mu burere bwe.

  Ukunda uwo bashakanye, ntamukundira gusa ibyo amuha, ahubwo amukundira uwo ari we, uko ari, agashimishwa no kumwongerera ihirwe n’ibyishimo, amwirunduriramo wese, umwe akabera undi urubavu, inzu y’umunezero udakama, igicumbi gihamye cy’ubuzima n’urukundo. Na Yezu ubwe agira ati : “Nta wagira urukundo ruruta urw’umuntu uhara amagara kubera uwo akunda”(Yoh 15,13).

  1. III.DUKORE IKI KUGIRA NGO TURENGERE URUGO

Hari byinshi byakorwa kugira ngo abubatse ingo bagire ubuzima bwiza mu mibanire yabo. Twabanza gushima ibikorwa ubu : ibiganiro bitangirwa mu matsinda anyuranye y’abashakanye na kominote zisenga kandi zigahuza abashakanye (mu byiciro mu ma paruwasi, Servisi y’Ubusugire bw’ingo, ihuriro ry’ingo, ishuri ry’umuryango, ingo z’icyitegererezo,..). Hari kandi n’ibikorwa binyuranye byita ku bana n’urubyiruko birufasha gusobanukirwa neza n’urukundo nyarwo ndetse binabafasha gutegura neza ejo heza habo. Ibi byose bigamije gufatanya kugira ngo mu mpande zose hakorerwe ubutumwa bwo kwita ku muryango.

Nyamara n’ubwo hari ibikorwa, hari byinshi byarushaho kuvugururwa kugira ngo urukundo nyarwo rusigasirwe bityo mu muryango, himakazwe koko “Ivanjiri y’ubuzima”[18], habe koko “ishuri ry’ibanze ry’imigenzo mbonezamubano abantu badashobora kwivutsa”[19]. Dore bimwe mu byakwitabwaho:

  1. a)Gutegura neza abasore n’inkumi ku muhamagaro wo gushyingirwa

Umuhamagaro wo gushyingirwa ushingiye ku rukundo rugaragarira mu muryango. Urukundo nirwo rwubaka urugo rw’abashakanye, rukabaherekeza kugeza ku ndunduro kandi bakaruraga abo bibarutse. Bityo rero, nk’uko Papa Fransisko abihamya mu nyandiko ye ku muryango “Amoris Laetitia”, “imiryango y’abakristu, kubera ingabire y’isakramentu ryo gushyingirwa, ni bo bagira uruhare rukomeye mu ikenurabushyo ry’umuryango, nk’Ivanjili y’umuryango”[20]. Uburere bw’ibanze butangirira kandi bukurira mu muryango aho abana batozwa kandi bagafashwa hakiri kare “kwivumburira agaciro n’ubukungu bw’umuhamagaro wo gushinga urugo”[21]. Birumvikana Paruwasi “nk’umuryango w’imiryango y’abakristu”[22], ibibafashamo ibahugura kandi ihuriza hamwe abitangira ikenurabushyo ry’umuryango.

  Intera eshatu[23] zo gutegura abazashinga urugo zigomba gushyirwamo imbaraga : igihe cyo mu rugo no mu mashuri (gushyiraho gahunda zigenewe abana n’urubyiruko: nk’utugoroba tw’abana n’urubyiruko tugizwe n’amahuriro yabo mu byiciro bijyanye n’ikigero barimo), igihe cyo kurambagiza no kurambagizwa, n’amezi abanziriza isakramentu ryo gushyingirwa.

  Birakwiye rero ko hategurwa ku buryo buhagije abagiye gushyingirwa muri Leta ndetse no muri Kiliziya. Inyigisho z’umubano n’igihe zimara bigomba kwiyongera. Abagerageje kubikora batanga ubuhamya ko bibafasha kuko bamenyeramo byinshi batari bazi n’urukundo rwabo rukagira umwanya uhagije wo gukura. Bigiramo kandikwakira no gukunda urubyaro Imana izabaha, kuko muri iyi minsi bigaragara ko ababyeyi bagenda bateshuka ku nshingano zo kwakirana urugwiro abana babyaye.

  1. b)Guherekeza ingo z’abashakanye

Mu rwego rwo guhugura ku buryo buhoraho ababyeyi, ku nshingano n’uburenganzira bwabo, Kiliziya Gatolika yabashyiriyeho Servisi y’Ubusugire bw’ingo kandi ishyigikiye n’izindi gahunda zinyuranye zikorwa na za kominote zinyuranye mu guherekeza no gusobanukirwa neza n’ubuzima bw’abashakanye. Uhereye ku bibazo by’insobe byugarije umuryango, dore bimwe mu byakwitabwaho mu guherekeza ingo.

  • Guha imbaraga no kugana Serivisi y’Ubusugire bw’Ingo

Abashakanye bagana iyi gahunda ikorera muri Diyosezi, mu maparuwasi no ku bigo nderabuzima bya Kiliziya, batozwa kubahiriza inshingano z’isakramentu ryo gushyingirwa n’indi migenzo ishamikiyeho nko kubahana, kurengera ubuzima. Basobanurirwa kandi amategeko agenga uburumbuke bwa muntu Imana yamuteyemo, bakigiramo “n’ubwishingire bwa kibyeyi, bubafasha guhitamo, bitewe n’impamvu zikomeye, kuba baretse kubyara igihe iki n’iki”[24], bifashishije uburyo bwa kamere bwo guteganya imbyaro. Ibyo byose bikorwa hadakumiriwe ihame ry’ubuzima kandi “abana umuntu abyaye bakaza ari ingabire y’Imana”(Zab 127,3). Ubwo buryo bwa kamere bwo guteganya imbyaro, nta guhunga ikibazo cy’ubwiyongere bw’abaturage, buteza imbere umuco mwiza wo kubaha umuryango, buha agaciro gakomeye buri muntu ugize urugo : umubyeyi w’umugore, umubyeyi w’umugabo n’abana. Ababizobereyemo bagomba gufata iya mbere mu guhugura abandi bakaba benshi mu kugira inama imiryango itari mike ikeneye ubufasha bwabo.

  • Ihuriro ry’ingo cyangwa ishuri rihoraho ry’umuryango

Ibiganiro n’isangirabuzima bikorerwa mu matsinda agize umuryango n’ibyiciro binyuranye by’abashakanye, ni ibyo gushyigikirwa cyane. Diyosezi, Paruwasi na kominote zisenga zatangiye guhuriza hamwe abo bose mu byiciro byabo bakaganira ku buzima bwabo, bagahanana, bakagirana inama kandi bagafasha abafite ibibazo gushaka umuti, cyane cyane bibanda ku bari “mu myaka ya mbere y’ubuzima bw’abashakanye”[25].

Aya “mahuriro y’ingo nkirisitu”[26] rero ni ishuri rihoraho risigasira umuryango. Muri iryo kenurabushyo rero, “ingo z’icyitegererezo zifite ubunararibonye ni ngombwa”[27] mu guhuza no kugira abandi inama. Ni ngombwa kandi kwirinda kumva amabwire n’inshuti mbi kuko bisenya ingo nyinshi.

  Birakenewe kuko hari benshi bananirwa kwiyakira   mu buzima bw’urugo bubatse, cyane abari kuzubaka muri iki gihe, biturutse ku mpamvu nyinshi harimo cyane iyo gushakana babeshyana, hutihuti, cyangwa bafite izindi nyungu bishakiraga, nta rukundo nyakuri ruhamye bifitemo.

  Gahunda ihoraho nyunguranabitekerezo mu mibanire mbonezamana na mbonezamubano y’abashakanye, ikorerwa muri ayo mahuriro, ni ikintu gikenewe na benshi, kuko bigaragara ko iyo nta gahunda rusange ngenderwaho, udutsinda duto tugera ku bantu bake kandi ababyifuza ari benshi cyane.

Guhuza abashakanye bakaganira ku bibazo bibareba no kubishakira ibisubizo ubwabo, Kiliziya ikabafashwa ku bishyira mu bikorwa, cyaba kimwe mu bisubizo. Muri urwo rwego, habaho amahugurwa ahagije y’abafasha b’ingo n’ubufatanye bwa hafi na komisiyo y’ubutabera n’amahoro, kuko hari byinshi bahuriraho mu butumwa bwabo.

  • Gusobanura inyigisho n’inyandiko za Kiliziya na Leta ku muryango

Inyigisho mbonezamubano n’inyandiko za Kiliziya ku muryango ntizizwi neza kandi ntizigera kuri benshi. Usanga benshi mu bubatse ingo n’urubyiruko ruteganya gushinga urugo, batazi amategeko y’ugushyingirwa mu Kiliziya n’aya Leta. Ni ngombwa gusobanurira abitegura gushinga urugo izo nyandiko. Iyo batazisobanukiwe, bishobora kugira ingaruka mbi kuko kenshi bagira ibibazo batigeze batekerezaho bagasaba gufashwa kubikemura amazi yararenze inkombe. Izo nyigisho zatangwa n’abazihugukiwemo muri Kiliziya na Leta kandi b’intangarugero mu mibanire mu ngo zabo.

  • Gukangurira abantu gutahura ibiriho bigamije gusenya umuryango

Birakwiye kumurikira umutimanama w’abakirisitu ndetse n’abantu bose b’umutima mwiza bakamenya gutahura ibyihishe muri za gahunda zikwirakwizwa n’uyu muco mushya ngengamyitwarire birimo ibishobora gusenya umuryango uko Imana yawifuje. Hari igihe abantu batagira ubushishozi cyangwa se kubera kudasobanukirwa bagafata ingamba zibangamiye urukundo n’umubano mwiza w’abatuye umuryango. Abanyapolitiki b’abakirisitu nabo bari bakwiye kwegerwa kugira ngo iteka mu gufata ibyemezo bazirikane ko bakwiye guhora barengera ubuzima n’ubusugire bw’umuryango.

  • Ubuzima bw’isengesho mu rugo no mu matsinda y’ingo

Guhugukira “isengesho rikozwe n’umuryango kandi rikorewe mu muryango”[28] no “guhimbariza hamwe igitambo cy’Ukaristiya ku cyumweru”[29] ni zimwe mu ngamba zikomeye ingo z’abakristu zigomba kugenderaho. Abagize umuryango basengera hamwe “bakomeza kandi barushaho kuba umwe”[30], nkuko na Mutagatifu Tereza wa Kalikuta abivuga “urugo rw’abantu basengana ruzahora rwunze ubumwe”. Abasengana barafatanya no bindi bikorwa kandi bakagira umugambi umwe w’ubuzima. Uruhare rw’umwe gusa ntiruhagije mu isengesho. Habaho kandi gukora amatsinda y’ingo, bakajya bahabwa inyigisho zihoraho, gukorera hamwe ingendo nyobokamana, n’ibindi byose byabafasha kunga ubumwe.

UMWANZURO

Bakristu bavandimwe, ikibazo cy’ibanze gishingiyeho ibindi byose bisenya ingo ni ikibazo cy’ukwemera. Uko abantu barushaho gutera Imana umugongo ni nako umubano hagati yabo urushaho kugorana. Uko abantu barushaho kwitandukanya n’Imana ni nako bagenda batandukana hagati yabo. Imana niyo soko y’urukundo n’ubuvandimwe ku buryo bw’umwihariko ni yo soko y’urukundo n’ubumwe bw’abashakanye. Urukundo nyakuri rwubaka urugo rukomoka ku Mana.

Yezu Kristu umwana w’Imana wigize umuntu yaje kuduhishurira urwo rukundo aduha n’urugero rwarwo mu buzima bwe. Urukundo nyakuri rutakwitirinywa no kwikunda ni urukundo rurangwa no kwiyibagirwa umuntu akita kuri mugenzi we. Uru rukundo rurangwa no kwifuriza mugenzi wawe icyiza. Gukora ku buryo wagirira mugenzi wawe akamaro aho gushimishwa n’uko hari icyo umukuraho ahubwo ugashimishwa n’uko hari icyo umukoreye cyangwa umuhaye. Uru rukundo rurangwa no kuba ushobora kwitanga no kwigomwa ndetse bibaye ngombwa no kuba wahara amagara yawe kugira ngo ukize mugenzi wawe.

  Yezu Kristu agira ati, “nta rukundo ruruta urw’umuntu wemera kuba yahara amagara ye agiriye uwo akunda”(Yh 15,13). Ibi Yezu yabiduhayemo urugero yemera kuva mu ikuzo rye akaza mu muruho wa muntu kugeza yemera kudupfira ku musaraba kugira ngo aducungure. Urukundo rwa Kristu nirube urugero rw’urukundo rw’abashakanye. Nk’uko Pawulo Mutagatifu abishishikariza abashakanye,nimukundane “nk’uko Kristu yakunze Kiliziya ye akayitangira” (Ef 5,25).

+ Antoni KAMBANDA

Umushumba wa Diyosezi ya KIBUNGO

Akaba n’Umukuru wa Komisiyo y’umuryango

mu Nama y’Abepiskopi Gatolika mu Rwanda

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[1]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°11

[2] Reba Deus Caritas Est n° 11

[3]Reba Familiaris Consortio n° 33

[4] Reba Amoris Laetitia n° 1.

[5]Reba Amoris Laetitia n° 91.

[6]Reba Amoris Laetita n° 92

[7]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°94

[8]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°95

[9]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°96

[10]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°97

[11]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°98

[12]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°105

[13]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°106

[14]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°107

[15]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°108

[16] Reba Amoris Laetitia n° 121.

[17] Reba Amoris Laetitia n° 123-125.

[18]Reba Evangelium Vitae n° 93.

[19]Reba Gravissimum Educationis n°3.

[20]Reba Amoris Laetitia n° 200.

[21]Reba Amoris Laetitia n°205.

[22]Reba Amoris Laetitia n° 202.           

[23]Reba Familiaris Consortio n° 66.

[24] Reba Humanae Vitae n° 10.

[25]Reba Familiaris Consortio n° 69.

[26] Reba Familiaris Consortio n° 72.

[27] Reba Amoris Laetitia n°223.

[28] Reba Gratissimam Sane n°4.

[29] Reba Amoris Laetitia n° 223.

[30]Reba Amoris Laetitia n° 227.

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